im sick! gosh..well im glad that my body managed to bring me through the marathon...hmw i think this will be a very long entry cuz i will be recording everything impt in the past few days. patience! i have alot to learn from all this so i shouldnt be careless.
hmw i think i shall start from the marathon ysd. with the advantage of hindsight i can objectively say that it was a learning experience which helped me open my eyes, fully bursting the happie lil bubble i wuz floating around in. okays start from the beginning...well when we were aligning i could rilli feel my heart pumping. my legs were wobbling slightly and the feeling wuz entirely different fr tt before a race set during trg. and before i knew it everyone was splashing off!! sighs...very quickly i fell behind! felt so LONELY paddling solo with the whole pack ahead of me. luckily, or unluckily, the other boats soon caught up. the whole time i was paddling, i kept entertaining all sorts of down-y kinda thoughts. i rilli rilli wanted to quit canoe altogether! i finally understood wot yanni meant when she said that if u're in a sport u'll always have the thought of quitting in your mind. its like i couldnt even see where the other k1s were, much much less even get near them. and nj, or rather team mountbatten, is (there's no other way to say it) FORMIDABLE. all their snrs and grand grand snrs all seemed to be there and they seemed to be sweeping up lots of prizes too. sighs. why? why? does it mean that god has been so kind as to make sure that all the ppl who go to nj are born canoeists and will simply EXCEL at it? NO!NO! of course not amanda has the fever burned your brain? then WOT is it? is it their frenetic trgs?
but i deviate. sighs. im so upset with myself. i dont mind so much if i had done my best but i didnt...capped twice too. and the best part is i cried thrice, once after i came up and twice at home. wot am i crying for? who cries after doing a marathon anyways. and again wot am i crying for? my own lousiness?? silly goose. crying rilli will make u improve lahs. ahhhh =X
but the whole pt of my recording this unhappie incident down is so that i will rmb that i still have a long way to go to even get a whiff of nj's std. i have cried enough to last me through the yr no more crying okays amanda. next time jes train harder. crying more will add to the water in the reservoir and then it'll be even harder to paddle in more water which means more resistance.
see, that's wot being sick and watching sesame st does to you. but its gud, at least i feel calmer now (: i should be! i slept since evening time ysd str to this morning. and wenyi thinks i can carry a boat well. well thats useful! (:
btw, i have a nice husky voice right now-or so i believe (: i think i sound like meredith grey on grey's anatomy. maybe i should try to extend my sore throat.
back to skl tmr. shall attempt to wear slippers and say that wearing socks will bathe my blistery toes in a yucky sweaty environment which only serves to help germs fester. EWW! i should have bought those havaianas which have a strap across your 4 toes instead of between ur big toe and 2nd toe.
oh yes sth my dad said while futilely attempting to cheer me up has stuck in my head. he said 'ni kan, even man u 85 yrs mei you shu gei liverpool jie guo hai shi shu le'. tt rilli made me laugh. well. maybe we'll beat nj in 85yrs. by which time i'd be 103 yrs, a grand ol dame alrd! bt no worries i'll still hobble down to macritchie.
shall enjoy hearing my voice-soundalike on grey's anatomy before sleeping. nitey nite!!!
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