let's!

hmw i jes woke up after crashing onto the bed into a very deep sleep the minute i reached home. very evidently i'm not made for staying up one bit, but i wouldnt mind not sleeping forever if all this doesnt have to end...

i don't wanto wake up from this sweet dream

mm...wot can i say that can reflect all that i'm feeling right now? i never thought that i'd feel so lost without it all. wasn't i the one who was busy making plans for my post-season life? and looking forward to having my body and life back for my own? wot trivial compensation they all seem like now. haoxia said that for the one week after nationals we'll all be floating around like a ghost. ha his words not mine. well he's got the floating part right, but one week seems like an optimistic estimate; right now i feel like i'll always be missing hcanoe and trg and all my teammates and haoxia and junjie...i can't believe wot i'm feeling but i rilli miss all our trgs. our terrible land trgs, gymming, crunches, circuiting at the pull-up bar area, good-mornings, swimming then running with our swimsuits still on, doing t2 at kallang and being washed around by the stupid coast guard or seeing the ducktour bus suddenly burst out of the trees and splash onto the water...

from now everything will be memories

that's wot a grandsenior said two years ago. and wot sharon said too. she told us that we shouldn't be sad but instead happie because we've been lucky enough to have all these memories. hahas and when she herself was saying it she was tearing... haoxia said that his best schooling memories were in jc.. and i might actually agree, if only because of hcanoe and all our teammates.

charlene was saying that she feels so blessed because she has had relatively little difficulties in her canoeing journey...i feel very very blessed too. all of them were so patient with me right from the start and continued being so even when i looked like i was going nowhere. have u ever heard of a canoeist who cant run for nuts and as sharon said, was always on the brink of failing my 2.4, which was probably the only time i ran in a year. hahas even in dance whenever we did all the kicks and jumps for too long i'd get breathless, what more running right. last night i ahem wuz so honoured when they all said they thought i would quit. hmw but i never would have unless haoxia asked me to leave. and the reason why i could go on for so long is all of u (: your patience, your support and encouragement, always going back to look for me after all of u finished running to run the last bit with me. seeing yingxia, wenqi, lala, wenyi waiting for me near the finishing line always made me feel warm and toasty, like there's a point in me trying to run even though i never seemed to get better at it. and patrick's offer to run with me was so unexpected and yet so timely. no one else but your teammate would willingly offer to come to skl at 6 to run with you. she was so cute, i'd be stretching and warming up in the dark then when she came she'd be like 'okay lets go run' and i would ask her 'u no need to warm up ah' then she'd be like 'i ran across the bridge as warm-up'. hahas silly goose right! run with bag and shoebag and waterbottle ynoe! how heavy can! my dearest patrick (: and i rmb running with yingxia and patrick at macritchie before water on sunday. we nearly died from the heat!!! hahas oh! i suddenly remember that when u run under the hot sun your face will turn red first and then grey!

and yesterday as everyone opened up and shared, i realise that everyone has been supported and encouraged at some point by the team. it made me realise that each and every act that u do is more important than you think because you never know how much it may mean to someone else. isn't that such a valuable lesson? that you are important and you matter, even when you feel like you could just about disappear into the macritchie water and no one will notice.

sharon, wenqi, lala, leilei, awyong, rina, huiwen, wenyi, patrick, yingxia, charlene, melissa, christine, kit yeng, junjie and HAOXIA. i heart you THIS much (: (: and macritchie will never look the same to me again, this place full of weird people who picnic there when the botanic gardens are so much prettier, who fish there and risk flinging a dangerous hook into us when they anyhow wield their rods when there's only fish as big as my pointer there, who go there and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh every morning hahahas, and us! people who give so much just to paddle in a reservoir full of turtles and tortoises and pointer-size fishes and some lizard-dragon species whose head looks very much like a snake.

wot a ride. so glad each one of us joined hwachong and found our way to hcanoe (: as patrick said, its such a miracle (: